putopia

2011-03-18T01:12:00.000-07:00

it's like you don't exist anymore. I haven't heard from you in months.

You were always so gentle and so cold. I loved throwing my arms around you, after not having seen you in a long time. I always made the mistake of taking you for granted when you were around. And then I would desperately search for your smell, all around the apartment when you left. I was afraid I'd go through life without anyone ever telling me I was beautiful, but didn't realize I could start out by saying, "you're beautiful," instead of narcissistically pining away. I miss sunny days when we were together. I miss how great you are at being in the winter. Winter seems so long without you. I want it to be warm so I can forget more easily. I'll wake up today and act like nothing is happening. But I still miss you so much.

It helps.

2010-08-01T14:39:00.001-07:00

Amazingly this helps. It's working! I'm actually out of the house and doing some work... but felt strange for a moment— so I'm writing here now. I'm in the Buell Center grading student papers. Well at the very least it is a temporary salve. Whenever I feel the impulse to email Eric, I just write here, to the virtual Eric I suppose. I am starting to feel totally comfortable with how pitiful this all sounds. There is something liberating about being so candid... even though no one reads this blog. I also wonder, what if someone did read this blog?

I guess the resentment isn't all gone. It's hard not to get sucked into the tit for tat that is a part of every break up I suppose. I'm not sure what to say about that.

When we broke up I thought this wave of melancholy would never come, and I was slightly relieved though more disturbed that I didn't feel more upset at first. Now I'm upset. But getting through this is good I suppose... I can invoke all sorts of metaphors for what stage I'm at right now in this 'process'... and am feeling more comfortable with the shitty break up lexicon... "process" may be the worst, probably because it's the most true.

Anyway, I will always regret that we didn't have more processes during our relationship.

third post before 8.30 am

2010-07-31T05:20:00.000-07:00

Hermano... hipsterified

After George I felt like heavy emotions had to be dealt with in almost business like ways, that was the only way I could possibly hold myself together. I wasn't able to deal with my own sadness until many years later. I'm glad there was you, and am strangely grateful for this break up. If not for this last week I would have never learned any of the important lessons I feel like I had to learn, and I might have had a hardened and pragmatic heart forever. Despite everything that is painful my heart has expanded and includes you in whatever form you want to take in it.

My question is this... why could I not see that all you wanted was the same tenderness that I wanted? That with everything I did for you, all the "help" I gave to you I expected some great prize-- your loving adoration. I understand something now about mutual adoration. I already told you how I hate the fact that our seven years has been reduced to an object lesson. But I know it is much more than that.

Dough March

2010-07-31T03:56:00.001-07:00

While waiting in Natalie's mom's car for you to finish bringing down your boxes Doug Martsch played a major role in a minor breakdown. I pretty much had it on repeat the whole time... An idea did battle with consuming sadness as I thought about how I might learn a string instrument well enough to be able to play this for you, perhaps your ukelele.

eight long years
you've been here
still you stay with me
still you stay with me

all i share all you bare
still you stay with me
still you stay with me

gentle words go unheard
still you stay with me
still you stay with me

when it's rough call my bluff
still you stay with me
still you stay with me

darlin please on my knees
will you stay with me
will you stay with me

unbearable lightness

2010-07-30T21:44:00.000-07:00

father poo, where art thou?
and the day after you left...

Our cat is making muffins on my stomach. His whiskers have wet food particles still on them... there he goes licking himself...such a good self cleaner!

I just finished watching Inception with Alda. I think Ellen Page makes a pretty convincing architecture student-- Leonardo DiCaprio a decidedly unconvincing architect.

I've never been able to stay depressed for more than 20 hours at a time. Humor inevitably creeps in— to my own disgust. Humor at times like this feels like a lack of humanity. Tenderness towards our cat however always feels nice. Predictably the intensity of the movie induced inappropriate laughter. I spent most of the movie thinking about the inconsistencies of the dream construction and wondering how many of the architectural references were intentional... for example the name "Eames."

I know you will not choose me. I can beg you not to throw seven years away for a fresh start... but I know how delicate love is. It's difficult to accept considering how resilient our love was for so long. Because you are unfailingly loyal to the people you love I know you will not ever get bored of the person you're with, will never lose faith in them, will have an unlimited amount of trust in them, will see them in the best light always despite their foibles.

I can fantasize about being manipulative and having it work... but I realize that manipulative people are never smart enough. There will be no convincing you, but still there is a tiny tiny little now unmoored island (you know the name of this island) that we build our future on ... I'm laughing at myself now, because you know how much I hate myself at times like this. Anyway, I don't really care about how cheesy I'm being... I am a cheeseball, a cheeseball for you.

Stay with me.

ok... another try.

2010-07-30T04:12:00.000-07:00

You are about to leave for London, are about to form even more fond new memories that will make ours seem even more distant. Please keep a little spot in your heart for me. When you walk around in the park think about how we took a nap in front of Rem's serpentine and stumbled across an office... and when you go to the Tate, remember the rainy day we stared at Eliasons's huge mirrored ceiling.

One more try... for putopia

2010-07-28T07:49:00.000-07:00

I am posting here, because I know if anyone reads this, it will be you.

I know I'm not supposed to ask for you back, seeing as you're happy, healthy, making good choices, being a great person, and with a great person. When I see you, I can tell there is respect, fondness, but no adoration. I appreciate the respect, but am desperate to look into your eyes and tell you I love you more than anything on this earth.

Please come back to me. I have learned so many lessons. Heavy ones... but light ones too... we can have fun! Go on biking adventures! Cheap food explorations! We can go to Paris and really do it right this time! We can dress our cat up in funny outfits--he really misses that! We can talk about ideas, but also we can finally have honest conversations about how to really love and appreciate each other. We can also conspire to make all of those around us, as happy as they deserve to be. I love and appreciate you so much, which I failed to do enough of in our still wonderful seven years together. I think you're cute, sexy, intelligent, kind, thoughtful, exciting. I love that mole on your cheek, your farmer's tan that never fades, your feet, the way you say your farts are like death leaving your body!!!!

I promise I will never fail to appreciate any of this, ever again. I promise to respond every time you touch me. I promise to not let my insecurities get in the way of loving you. I promise to REALLY FORGIVE, because I've learned the hardest way what forgiveness really takes. It is a profound act of faith, trust and generosity that you have always granted me. There is no one better than you. More than anything I appreciate the thought you put into the world, but am appreciating more and more the thought you put into your own life, and the thought you put into your relationships with other people. I am asking for something impossible, for something that would require that you be an asshole, and to hurt someone that doesn't deserve to be hurt. It is so unfair of me to ask for this.

I am sorry for so much... all of the pain. But I am also grateful for so much, that despite it all you still want to be my friend. It is because of all this generosity that I've realized exactly what it is that I've lost, and it is the greatest loss I've ever experienced.

You are about to arrive at our place, to pick up the last load of your things...

If you never read this again... it is no one's fault but my own. I wanted to try one more time because my efforts in the past have been pitiful, small and selfish. I am ready to put into this the biggest effort I am capable of... and more... I could move a mountain right now with the love I have for you...I promise this time I'll be generous, strong and loving because I love you and I always will. You are the love of my life.

I love you.
Diana

There are waves of happy memories interrupting the weight of total humility.
Seeing you in chicago was so nice... you had that opera mail address... and I had a hotmail address... it was that long ago!!! I wish I could retrieve those stupid emails when I said I was all about "feeling."
Talking about modern art on the roof of the Pompidou... I can't believe that was you.
Halloween in DürHam... when we fought over the use of the bear head.
That funny folding bike you got me, the tandem bike that I never got to see! I regret so much not visiting you more... no excuses... I should have visited you more.
Our pet bettas... kissing through the milk bottle glass... did we ever name them?
Biking to Maine, unable to find a sufficiently awesome kayak experience, and missing the best lobster roll while eating crappy food across the street... but still there were good lobster rolls.
The beautiful day we made bean and cheese burritos by the Hudson on our 2nd day of the tour.
biking... so much biking... so wonderful to bike
Crabu grahib + oyster hunting + blackberry picking
The warm October day... of an Indian summer that we sat on top of rat rock... when we first started dating... I felt so content, indescribably happy despite everything happening in my life and a day not so long after that day when we took a nap for half of the day looking out of the window in our shared twin bed... I've made such a big deal out of the idea of me being a convenience to you... but in truth I would have never made it through without you.
Biking in London
Bonding with the people who were listening to Leonard Cohen on an adjacent camp site... at that totally weird camping place... only to charm them out of their firewood... which never ignited.
The barrier islands... the beautiful beach... that you skipped your first day of school ever to share this day with me. Thank you for reminding me.
The cooter washer and that shitty hotel and almost escaping having not paid for a night (so ashamed!)
Cooking
Pork and radish stew
Saving hermano from the streets!
Pupusas
Building bookshelves.... and then again... and then again...
How you kicked ass in the messenger olympics... beating all those hipster douche bags.
Hitting every book store possible in every city
Hating on Madrid - it wasn't SO bad
Loving ondarroa - komunak!
Whispering to each other through the richard serras at the Guggenheim Bilbao
Almost shuffling off this mortal coil @ Playa Laga...
Pimientos del padron
That habañero stuffed olive at Fairway
Sitting outside of that cafe when they were closed just to steal their internet connection... submitting my abstract for the "other spaces" conference from there.
IN CASE OF EMERGENCY - how to reconstitute a hollandaise (...you were always there to save me).
Fried chicken
Your sliders and sticky sweet ribs
When you told the French panini maker that you wanted "dos" paninis.
You were so good with my brother, and my parents... they miss you
Finally going to the SPAM museum... what took us so long?
Christmas with your fam
You and Scott with the same bike... hangin' with Scott in those early days...
Randomly, almost miraculously finding Zaha Hadid's office.
The uphill climb to Blue Hill... the impossibly delicious strawberry jam!
Feeling my brain grow just being next to you.
Dong told me that while we were dating you would tell him how much you liked me... I've retroactively inserted that into my memories.

2009-09-22T01:48:00.000-07:00

well, as predictable we haven't really posted much. eric's actually started a new blog... but I still like this one. again, much has happened since the last post. eric is teaching at hofstra in long island and a I am now knee deep in academia. above are some random selections from the summer... bike trip to randall's island, day trip to the gunks with mountain laurel in bloom (that still life on the bottom is not staged, I really found it like that).

2009-04-22T03:32:00.000-07:00

So alot has happened since our last entry. Eric left to fulfill his final teaching requirement (sad), Eric is coming back to New York in two weeks (happy!). i have been working for the Buell Center for a year and a half and am going to start the PhD at Columbia in the fall. We have a cat, name: hermano (see image above). We found him in Fort Greene part, or should I say, he found us. I'm going to be better about updating this blog regularly...

what time is it?

2007-07-26T08:08:00.001-07:00

why don't we ask the chairman?

Wildwood Report

2007-07-22T20:09:00.000-07:00

So what happened this weeked? Diana, Adam, and I all rode the train to Long Island, got on our bikes and rode to Wildwood State park. Some debaucherous beach action happened (see photos), a little camping, and lots of mexicans and filipinos at the beach. who knew? We stopped at an army surplus store in port jefferson that was oddly stocked with the standard military gear and a bunch of chinese commie propaganda. They were selling the little read book! I bought a pocket watch with Mao waving at you and Adam and Diana bought a "totally hot" mess kit.
The total round-trip was about 30 miles of biking and we managed to get three flat tires in that time span (2 Adam, 1 Eric), which is amazing considering that Diana and I rode 600 miles to Maine and managed to avoid getting a single flat. Go figure. The third flat happened about 2 miles away from the train station with 20 minutes to spare, but luckily I bought a patch kit before we left, because we used both spare tubes... Adam's rear tire was also threadbare in one spot so we had to reinforce it with the cardboard from the spare tube box. Apparently he can't get enough skidding in on his velo. We also found a bunch of rapsberries on the side of the road, they were uber tasty. This is sure to be the first in an instalment of weekend bike trips, so stay tuned.

an inventory

2007-07-20T08:38:00.000-07:00

summer reading thus far.

its been a long time since this has been updated, which is probably some sort of index of how boring academic life is, but maiora premunt. since the last time i've posted a few things have happened: my cinelli was stolen, I taught my first class, i finished coursework (prelims still loom), i gave two papers at conferences (the epitome of excitment), diana got a real job at LTL, she taught a studio at columbia, rides her bike to work by herself everyday, we moved to brooklyn, got a flatscreen tv, built bookshelves, went to minnesota a couple times, had epic struggle with lost luggage on the way back from europe a year ago, i did my first century on the blueridge parkway, rode a road bike for the first time, got a mountain bike, bought my 1000th book (not that I count or anything), went to philadelphia for the first time, went on a circle line tour, read a lot of books (though not enough), got a new bike, a new phone, and watched BBC's Planet Earth series.

a year ago now...

2007-06-28T19:47:00.000-07:00

Newark, wal-mart flower cube

barcelona: more to come

2006-09-14T07:25:00.000-07:00

empuriabrava

2006-08-06T01:58:00.000-07:00

after winding our way through the mountains, we made an endrun for the ocean to meet up with a friend of diana's from school. after spending a couple hours hanging out on the beach, we decided to call bill and see if he was around. luckily he was and he was on a jobsite. we went to meet him and he was in the middle of one of the most frustrating job situations we have ever seen. he is working on a private house called "villa nurbs" which is meant to indicate the calculus based system that gave the house its form. the idea is mildly interesting, but the project is a total clusterfuck. the principle architect appears to be totally incompetent and the client visits the site everyday, making changes. essentially, all designing is done onsite, which leads to constant delays and everyone wants to quit. luckily bill is only a summer intern, so he is done now. although it was not under the best of circumstances, it was nice to see some friendly faces.

camping!

2006-08-05T10:40:00.000-07:00

On our way through the pyrennes, we ended up camping for a night along a lake in the foothills. Seeing that we had no tent, the people at the lodge (who were extremely nice) borrowed us a tent. the problem was that this tent was a military edition circa 1910. the tent had three poles and no instructional logic at all. it is hard to explain how weird the final setup ended up looking, it looked fragile but never collapsed on us. the people who ran the lodge were incredibly nice and we had some beers and watched waterworld in spanish. it wasn't any better...

broto!

2006-08-02T17:32:00.000-07:00

on our way through the pyrennes (on the smallest possible road through the mountains) we stopped in broto, a town at the bottom of a winding descent and seemingly perpetually on siesta. we grabbed some jamon, sausage and bread to eat lunch next to a clear mountain stream that went through the middle of town. after eating with our feet in the cold, cold water, we happened upon another stream and followed it upstream to find, yes, a waterfall. not only a mountain waterfall (with weird, euro-style via ferrata happening in the background), but a mountain waterfall made for swimming. yes, it did rule, just in case you were wondering. this was most likely the best roadtrip lunch break i've ever had...

playa laga: or cheating death

2006-08-02T17:03:00.000-07:00

this is the beach where i was nearly transported into the beyond while changing clothes in the parking lot. not a bad place to shuffle off this mortal coil...

san sebastian pics

2006-08-02T16:55:00.000-07:00

san sebastian

2006-08-02T16:00:00.000-07:00

after leaving ondarroa (to no small grumbling on my part) we headed towards san sebastian, made it there relatively quickly, parked the car and started looking for hotels. the prospects were discouraging at first, seeing as everything was "completo" or absurdly expensive for not so nice accomadations, we decided to just walk along the beach out to the sculpture "comb of the winds" by eduardo chillida, which is an amazing sculpture actually built on site into the rocks in the ocean. in addition to the sculptures, the plaza has "blow holes" built into it. it is hard to describe, but the plaza is built on the edge of the ocean so that the waves can enter in underneath a part of the plaza and the resulting wind is compressed into a few holes which come up in the walkway of the plaza...(ok tag team action...diana here)...and this forced a huge rush of air straight upwards...(think marilyn monroe standing over the ventilation grate in seven year itch except about 20x more powerful)...the kids who would discover it were just amazed. i don't think i've ever seen anything man made...so perfectly combined with its site... i myself was quick to be charmed by san sebastian...i have a weakness for the basque, and the food there was amazing. we walked along the beach, did some semi-hikes half way up the mountain overlooking the city where eric found some bouldering problems which he attempted in sandals.

later that night we parked on the beach next to the moneo building where there was a free jazz festival...well, at least the part we saw on the beach was free, we saw dr. john sing about new orleans to a bunch of spanish people who probably had no idea what he was saying, on that night we were the unwilling witnesses to some very bad "euro-dancing". i love free music...especially on a beach in spain...with your belly full of pinchos. alas...too many people love san sebastian...and we could not stay for long...but one day we shall return.

parting with ondarroa

2006-08-02T15:58:00.000-07:00

pretty.

leaving bilbao

2006-08-02T15:20:00.000-07:00

leaving the charming little 'burg of bilbao was difficult, but alas, we had much of spain to see. with no specific itinerary besides going through Gernika, the subject of Picasso's painting of the same name which dealt with Gernika being the first city to suffer saturation bombing in the second world war by the germans, via a deal between franco and hitler in which he offered up this basque city for destruction. small wonder the basques do not want to be part of spain... the city itself does not bear the traces of this horrific event, save for a tile rendition of Gernica and plaques throughout the city which show what actually remained after the bombing. we got our first ticket in gernika, which a friendly clochard helped us pay, only six euros.
after leaving gernika we drove through the beautiful basque countryside, winding along small mountain roads and reveling in the ridiculous amount of bikers that we saw attacking the hills. each road in basque country has a bike map on the side of the road that gives difficulty ratings to each potential route. gotta love the basques and their bikes.
after a short summer storm we ended up in the quaint city of ondarroa, which is not quite a tourist town, yet has two beaches right in the middle of town. we happened upon an amazing little hostel that was cheap, had great views of the ocean, was right on the beach, had amazing and cheap food AND had wireless. the building also used to house an organization dedicated to the advancement of the basque language, euskati, which is a strange, non indo-european language that no one knows where it came from. lots of x's, z's and k's. go figure. needless to say it was difficult to leave. we spent three peaceful days lounging on the beach, reading and catching up on internet time. but we were getting restless and san sebastian was on the horizon, thus we said goodbye to our little home on the beach.

2006-07-31T04:00:00.000-07:00

hi all

sorry we haven´t posted for a while...we haven´t had wireless so haven´t been able to post pics. anyway, we are now in barcelona and have come to the definitive conclusion that it is by far a better city than this country´s capital. There is so much getting built here, we rented bikes and have roamed all over the city, taking in the sites and the food...I have to say, it´s pretty tough to beat the basque region in terms of food, but the markets are great here and the food fresh, and that´s all i really care about.

i also feel very at home here as our hotel is in the Ribera district, which is not only covered in Filipinos...they´re all from Mabini, where my mom grew up. At this very moment I overhear the harsh sounds of Bantangueño Tagalog. My cousin Esther, my cousin in law Victor and their baby also swept through town on their way to Portugal and it was nice to see them. Bill of team ¨Huggy Wall¨ and his awesome girlfriend Liz are also here, so it´s been nice to see alot of friendly faces and not have to speak in broken Spanish to wary locals.

sorry this is short for now...we will post more details soon.

Diana

a message...

2006-07-20T23:49:00.000-07:00

from god?

(a story i forgot to tell, a picture i forgot to take) well...just two days ago eric and I were slightly crisped and very hungry, finally pulling ourselves away from the glittering playa del laga (pictures to follow). while loading into the car...a sharp whistling noise...and then a CRASH. We were below a cliff and it took me a second to realize that a large rock had fallen off the face of the cliff and totally smashed the windshield of the car next to us. It was a good thing no one was in the car...but I felt so bad for whoever's car that was...but felt lucky that it wasn't us...a good lesson was learned by us...do not park anywhere near cliffs.

last summer

2006-07-20T15:19:00.000-07:00

just in case you forgot what we did last summer, heres a reminder, we rode bikes and ate lobster...

2006-07-20T15:12:00.000-07:00

so this here is my first post...i've been lazy...i haven't even informed a critical mass of friends, i wish i cared more, and ate less, asked more questions, made more life changing evaluations...whatever...we are in basque country and it's beautiful here! finally, lush landscapes! Rugged mountains covered in pine falling into sandy beaches...bonita!

In addition to being ridiculously beautiful Basque country is cosmopolitan to boot. Everyone here is so friendly and the food is AMAZING and cheap too! We had these pinchos in Bilbao...whole squid in carved potato cups, baguette slices topped with goat cheese, chorizo crowned with tiny fried quail egg, baby lamb skewers with something like feta and pickled red peppers...delicious! The olives here are younger, less vinagery...more woodsy...yummmm! But my favorite little dish in Spain are tiny fried hot green peppers...

As for the Basque peoples...they are a hearty bunch...of "mysterious origins". Their language is also mysterious...all Ks and Xs. They seem to all ride fancy bikes, and make no hesitation at tackling the most daunting looking climbs. The Basque also like to walk back and forth across their very short and very beautiful beaches. We are currently staying at a hotel in Ondarroa that is run by a group intending to inject Euskadi into everyday life. But so far the only words I've learned are "Presoak Etxera" which I think means something like "Free Basque Country" and "Komunak".
All the graffiti in Basque country seems to be political graffiti. The separatist sentiment is strong here.
Anyway...will write more soon.
sleepy d

more bilbao

2006-07-20T07:47:00.000-07:00

more granada pics

2006-07-20T05:40:00.000-07:00

super awesome.....

bilbao

2006-07-20T04:40:00.000-07:00

we have finally made it to the promised land, or the basque country. we drove to bilbao from madrid, in a fairly quick trip and after some mildly stressful wrong turns and poor navigation in the maze of highways around madrid, we landed directly in front of the guggenheim bilbao. we have a car with manual transmission, we means only eric drives, which also means the car has killed a few times. although i must say it has never been in an embarassing situation. over the days, my driving has improved greatly and yesterday, there were only two kill situations, of which both were unexpected stops.
bilbao is a bustling little city, as the implantation of the guggenheim seems to have induced a second wave of building and architectural consumerism. the amount of high-end design stores was unexpected, we saw balthaup, Vitra and various high-end local versions. our days in bilbao were spend without access to wireless, thus the barrage of posts right now.
immediately upon parking in bilbao, i learned my favorite new euskati word, komunak, or bathroom, as i was in dire need of this komunak...
the nervion river that runs through bilbao is absolutely chock full of fish that swim in schools of 15-20 right on the surface. the water is black with them. it is a little ridiculous. we couldn't figure out what kind of fish they were, but i think they were a form of carp or something of that nature, as no one seemed to be interested in fishing for them.
at the guggenheim there was a show on Russian art from 1000ad to the present. an absurd timeline, but mildly interesting nonetheless. interesting to note was the huge section that they devoted to social realism, which was excellent, you don't get to see many of these works on display, but it felt that something was amiss, as the lack of transition between the constructivist period and "state mandated" social realism was conspicuous. perhaps it is because these works have been given all the play in art history, but if you are going to mount a show on art in russia, some better explanation of the futurist and constructivist period should be included. absent were el lizzitsky and much of kandinsky, amongst others. but what is to be expected from the guggenheim?
the serra pieces were great, as we figured out that they are, in essence, tunnels for amplifying and conducting sound. something much more fun than expecting to experience the sublime in the maze of ellipses.

summer reading

2006-07-20T04:34:00.000-07:00

thus far...
Shadows of the Pomegranate Tree- Tariq Ali
Exercises in Style- Raymond Queneau
Men in Prison- Victor Serge
The Lost Steps- Alejo Carpentier
The Harp and the Shadow- Alejo Carpentier
The Chase- Alejo Carpentier
Explosion in a Cathedral- Alejo Carpentier
Genesis- Eduardo Galeano
Faces and Masks- Eduardo Galeano
Centry of the Wind- Eduardo Galeano
Hopscotch- Julio Cortazar
Obscene Bird of Night- Jose Donoso
Collected Marti- Jose Marti
Writings of Bolivar- Simon Bolivar
On Materialism- Sebastiano Timpanaro

all highly recommended

madrid

2006-07-20T04:14:00.000-07:00

as we walked around the city center of madrid, increasingly parched and sick of the sun, we pondered what the hell made philip II make madrid the center of his empire, save for the convient geographical location in the center of spain. indeed madrid is not a terrible city and had we known someone there and had more interesting things to do, it would have been different, but as it stands our experience of madrid has been a touch unsatisfying.
but, in addition to this, we have been experiencing mild existential drama concerning what it is that one does while traveling. i.e. do you race about all day in the draining sun desparately attempting to see everything you can in the short amount of time you are given, only to return home and have someone tell you that "you really should have seen this while you were there." or do you have a restricted itinerary full of empty time to read, daydream, cultivate anxiety about the future, sleep, dream up possible experiences, etc. work for school and future interviews seems to be more productive time spent than waiting in lines to see warehouses of art, yet the desire to actually see those goyas and bosch paintings is still strong. its funny, but i still seem to learn more about europe from an alejo carpentier novel than from actually being here and yet it is the ease of reference, culled from the actual experience that marks carpentier's novels so strongly. walking through the maze of glassy eyed tourists at the prado, or the louvre really makes you want to claim some sort of priority, because "i've studied these things, these artifacts of culture" but in reality, you are just as much of the horde. yet, is this something to be detested? i'm not sure. i waver constantly between a philistine notion that europe is degraded and my experience cheapened and the dull realization that this is the world, how it is, in other words.

granada

2006-07-17T03:40:00.000-07:00

we decided to leave madrid a little early and go visit the alhambra in granada, which turned out to be a touch disappointing, as we missed the best part of alhambra, due to a misunderstanding, in which you are only given a half-hour window to enter the palacio navarres, after which you can stay as along as you like. strange logic. the palacio navarres has all the good stuff at alhambra, such as the court of lions, the bathhouses, and other various attractions that one shouldn't miss when visiting alhambra. but miss them we did and seeing that it would have cost another 20 euros to visit them, we gave a rude gesture of the hand to alhambra, got some ice cream and walked back to our hostel.
granada is a beautiful place, but bursting at the seams with tourists. we nearly heard more english than spanish there, of which we were obviously another case. unexpectedly, granada also seems to be a party city, as we ran into more young people spilling out of clubs while walking to catch our train at 7am. the noise from this, in addition to the heat allowed us to sleep about 3 hours a night. i see more and more why the spainards take siesta, as they don't seem to sleep at night.
a little disappointed with granada, we went back to madrid to pick up our rental car and head north to basque country, which we were eagerly anticipating.

uhhhh

2006-07-12T01:53:00.000-07:00

for those interested, we do have a flickr account, if you click on any of the empty boxes below, it will take you to the account, but for now, its located at http://www.flickr.com/photos/71657421@N00/ or at least i think that will take you there. or click on those empty boxes above the london post... we will try and figure out this link situation soon, but seeing as internet time is limited, we don't have all day to figure this shit out. plus, we're laaazy. but on the upside, we are in madrid, where that is socially acceptable, along with long afternoon naps, which i thought would rule, but its really just because you can't do anything else seeing that it is scorchingly hot.
yesterday we waded through the crowds at the prado to see the not-quite-justified-because-the-line-was-so-f'ing-long picasso exhibition and all the Goya, Velaquez, El Bosco, Breughel, and lots of other godly and kingly painting. times were dark in those days, as evidenced by Goya's Saturn Eating his Children, which is oddly, still disturbing. Maybe its all the darkness that i associate with the brutal spanish christian empire, the inquisition, the war against the moors, and the institution of slavery and all that, but whatever the case, all that technique is colored with the wrath of an angry god.
other than that, we've been racing around looking for modern architecture from the fascist era, which is quite fascinating, seeing as most all of the buildings were built without "modern" elements such as steel and iron and required about twice the labor power to build. We are staying right next to Francisco Cabrero's Obra Sindicale, which is presently one of diana's favorite buildings. yesterday we visited the torres blancas and some old spanish witch yelled at us for taking photos in the lobby, a weird, weird building, somewhere between concrete surrealism and frank lloyd wright, made entirely of concrete.
its the 25th anniversery of guernica being in spain and it is on prominent display at the reina sofia, which also houses jean nouvel's somewhat garrish extension. the library is alright, but they don't let you study there. they will only let you bring in a notebook and you can only read books from that library. frustrating, but an alright space nonetheless.

more photos

2006-07-11T03:25:00.000-07:00

london

2006-07-11T02:41:00.000-07:00

we were in london for a few days staying with a friend of diana's from school, now working in zaha hadid's weirdly sprawling complex that used to be a victorian school or something to that effect... when we arrived in london, we had no way to contact the people we were staying with (johnny, jolanta, melodie, thanks!) and ended up storing our luggage at king's cross and wandering about london. we bought a cheap map of london while buying tickets for the tube which had some landmarks on it, one of them being the marx memorial library (karl, not groucho), so we immediately set out to find this bastion of communist critique. after about 45 minutes of pointless searching, we were about to give up when i walked down a street and ran into zaha hadid's office! melodie was there, we got keys to the apt and were vagrants no more.
the rest of london was spent riding bikes, looking for bookstores, fighting jetlag, seeing the tate, trying to go to a marxism 2006 conference that cost 16 pounds a day! (needless to say, we left), looking at the not-open serpentine pavilion and spying on Rem (we saw him hurrying in to the swanky invite only opening), and sleeping in various parks, squares and tube stations. sweet. on to madrid......